Brace yourself for massive amounts of shaming.
Friday started off by taking our lovely out-of-town guests Brent and Brooke to a Mexican restaurant. The four of us love hole in the wall places, so we headed to La Tolteca in Manassas. I actually did pretty well (for a Mexican restaurant, at least) by having three glasses of water, 3/4 of a bean burrito, 12 chips with salsa, and a side salad of guac, lettuce and tomatoes. Total: 16 points
Snack was half of a sausage on pretzel bread sandwich, with a few chips and half a pickle. Total: 10 points
Then there was dinner. Heh. It included:
- Two glasses of really good wine, provided by Don.
- Lots of amazing cheese, also provided by Beckie.
- A half cup of delicious squash, provided by Robin & Jason. The reason it was delicious? Brown sugar and unholy amounts of butter.
- A tasty salad, provided by Beckie. Salad's not so bad, right? It is when you make the dressing with mayo and bacon grease...
- Sliders and sausage provided by us.
- Cupcakes provided by Brooke & Brent.
Total: 40 points
And while we're on this cheese, butter, booze and meat filled rampage, why bother to exercise? Also of note is that in a rousing game of Cards Against Humanity, Jason was the most horrible person in attendance, while his wife Robin was the least. Opposites attract?
But wait! There's more!
Saturday morning started with a sausage and cheese muffin from McDonald's. Total: 10 points
Then we went to the zoo, which I will say was good for about 14,000 steps on the pedometer. Aaaaand a hot dog, chips, and a soda. Total: 14 points
We also got to see a lion playing with a ball. Funsies!
Here kitty, kitty! |
Dinner #1 (see how bad this is getting) was sausage, sauerkraut, potato salad, mashed potatoes, green salad, apple cake, and two beers. We went to the Middleburg Oktoberfest, which was HILARIOUS. We drank beer from a boot, watched some aggressive games of musical chairs, sang to accordian music, listened to tales from Lothar, and Chris won a bottle of wine. Total: 28 very well spent points
This is Lothar dancing. |
Dinner #2 was half of a lamb pizza at Fireworks, along with unholy amounts of iced tea since the sodium content was starting to take its toll one me. Total: 15 points
And that, my friends, is how you eat 133 points in two days. I ended waking up at 4 a.m. feeling like I had eaten a buffalo and drank a keg of salt water.
Pretty sure my body is 70% sodium at this point. |
In conclusion, I'd like to publicly shame/thank Brent, Brooke, Beckie, Don, Robin, Jason, Chris, the National Zoo and The Middleburg Lions Club for this disaster.
A trainwreck of this magnitude can only be represented by one royal. And so, my friends, please enjoy some Camilla.
"Keep going darling, you're doing a great job!" |
"In fact, have some more!" |
"Start stealing from children, even!" |