After the party is the After Party

Listen, Queen B, I don't like to criticize, but you're wearing a liturgical dance dress, carrying a poodle fur, and have accessorized with a gold plated keyboard. I can't support this.

J-Lo, you need to move your sparkles up a few inches, dear.

Three cheers for Sofia Vergara. This dress is awesome. Almost as awesome as the $1.5M worth of jewelry she's wearing.

Sigh. Let's move on from this.

The top works. The bottom works. They just don't work together, Hailee Steinfeld.

There's just too much going on with Christina Aguilera. Not the least of which is whatever is happening with her skin.

Amy Adams' hair looks gorgeous with this color dress. I'm totally behind this look. Except for the long little train, but only because I'd end up with it wrapped around an ankle, my head, and someone else's dog after only one drink.

Emma Stone is wearing a size 18 on top, and a size 12 on bottom. She is a size 2. I want to attack her with safety pins and hem tape.

Lupita Nyong'o is so pretty that I just wanna throw acid on her.

Margot Robbie decided to dress like a mime.

Listen Marion Cotillard, even Bjork would think this outfit is weird. What is even going on with the waist? Did you tie a hoodie around it? THIS ISN'T THE GYM, MARION.

Mindy Kaling, you're my hero and you look fabulous. Work it, girl. Work. It.

You know when you pose for one of those Old Western pictures while you're at King's Dominion?

Chloe Grace Moretz is wearing one of those dresses. With a belt.

Heidi Klum is Marvel's newest super hero: Wardrobe Malfunction Girl!

Naomi Watts forgot her shirt.

Um, question for you, Gigi Hadid. Is the top of this dress taped on? If so, what type of tape?

Hope you all enjoyed these...dresses? I'm sure these lovely ladies enjoyed their free drinks.

Freezer Meal #2 - Maple Pork Tenderloin with Apples

This is the second part of my foray in to freezer meals - the first part can be found here for Cheesy Shells and Italian Sausage. Today we're making a pork and apples recipe adapted from The Pampered Chef. I love this one--it's so easy to assemble in advance, most of the ingredients you likely already have, and it couldn't be easier to fix the day you want to eat it (dump stuff in pan, bake). So yummy. And pretty. Maple Pork Tenderloin with Apples For this you'll need the ingredients below. You probably have the oil, vinegar, garlic, brown sugar, mustard, and bags in your pantry! You can also easily divide this recipe if you usually only cook for 2-3 people at a time (that's what I do when I make it). 2 pork tenderloins , about 2 pounds total - they can be expensive, so pick these up on sale 3 apples - I prefer honeycrisp but use what you like, or take one of these suggestions 1 small red onion 1/4 cup canola oil 1 clove garlic , press...

The Oscars, powered by onion dip

My hilarious friends Kelley and Christopher invited me over for the Oscars so that we could judge red carpet looks. Kelley is one of the few people in my life that makes me laugh without fail, and she blogs her adventures--and misadventures--over at The Lundscape . Kelley warned me prior to coming over that they were more "Shame" than "Squad," so that's how we ended up with three types of dip. This was fortuitous, though, because the dips sustained us through grueling hours of pausing and rewinding live coverage, swapping drink recipes we learned on vacation, and discussing what award shows would be like on Middle Earth. Let's dive right in, shall we? Kelley : Janelle Monae's dress was sponsored by the Audubon society. Christopher: This looks like "Sarah Burton for Alexander McQueen meets Marie Antoinette." (It is revealed that the designer is Elie Saab.) Alyssa: I'm pretty sure Elie Saab went on a coke bender. Kelley: ...

The Olympic Outfits of Johnny Weir, rated

The Verner girls are back, 4 years later, to discuss the outfits of Johnny Weir. (And the crowd goes wild!) Since writing about his Sochi wardrobe , it has been one of my top posts of all time. Other highly rated posts include a post about the palaces of Hawaii , how to pack for vacation , a Pampered Chef cheesy pasta recipe , and Meghan Markle tiara predictions . You guys are an eclectic group. Speaking of eclectic, let's talk about Johnny's overall look. First, let me start off by saying that yes, I know that Johnny looks like a cross between the Hunger Games, Pee Wee Herman, and Colonel Sanders. So obviously, I've seen that one post on Twitter about it. And that meme on Facebook. And that thread on Reddit. Johnny is not one for subtlety. One year he said he was going to go with a "not-so-literal" interpretation for his Kentucky Derby hat, and he then literally wore a crown of roses and a mint julep on his head. Basically, Johnny would not know subtl...

The Shame Squad

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