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Kate's Tour Outfits, Rated

First, a shoutout to the newest Kate: my friend Megan just gave birth to her third daughter, Remy Kate.  Welcome to the world, my awesomely named young friend! Your mother has impeccable taste.

Okay, on to rating Kate's Australian tour outfits:

We first saw the Cambridges as they stepped off the plane, and the comparisons to Princess Diana, Jackie O, and Marilyn Monroe began.  I personally think this looks like a Pan Am flight attendant uniform dyed red with some ugly buttons added.  And this looks too old on her.  She's wearing the Queen's fern brooch, but we all expected that.  George's adorableness is completely cancelled out by the fact that Will is phoning it in with that tie.  Grade: C

We got to see Kate and George again, this time he was in an ugly smocked jumper (1980 called and they want you to burn that) and a supremely hideous Tory Burch dress.  And listen, if K-Middy can't make it look good, it can't be made to look good.  There's the terrible color, the strange frayed hems, and the wavy horizontal stripes.  Blech.  Grade: F

And just when you think she might be drunk and ordering ugly fringe dresses on net-a-porter.com, Kate totally redeems in this ensemble.  It's a custom McQueen--the off-the-rack version is Ugly Gray with extra flaps.  This blue is perfect for the solemn wreath-laying occasion, the accessories are stylishly appropriate, and the ponytail is the perfect style for hanging out in the rain.  Grade: A

This next one is hard to rate.  It's basically Kate's go-to look: skinny jeans, blue & white striped shirt, and either loafers or wedges.  She looks super cute in this pic with Will:

My problem with her wearing this on tour is that she literally wears this all the time--even to go grocery shopping.

But I will say that I have these Sebago loafers (and if you think I bought them because of her, well, you're right) and they are super cute and comfy.  

So we'll give her a pass for being comfortable and staying true to herself.  Grade: B

Next, she inexplicably dressed like Oscar the Grouch.

This just doesn't work on her.  It makes her look frumpy and blobby.  And I really wanted her to take off the coat, because she was wearing a cute dress underneath.  You can get a peek of it in this pic:

This is what it looks like, from the Suzannah web site.  It can be yours for only 475 pounds!  Anyway, we didn't get to see it, so we're going to have to grade this one low, for potential Muppet murder.  Grade: F

Kate then dispelled pregnancy rumors by gettin' her drink on!  The internet seems to think this shirt came from the Gap.  And since I had a 40% off and free shipping coupon code, as well as $30 in Gap rewards, guess who is now the proud owner of Kate Middleton's shirt FOR FREE?  I'm going to drink wine and wear it.  But I'm kind of sick of that Zara jacket.  Grade: B-

Kate then pulled a maneuver that I think all the ladies can understand: she wore a dress she already has, but in a different color.  (Celebrities, they're just like us!  They buy the same piece of clothing in multiple colors!)  She looked fab in this teal Emilia Wickstead dress and cute little hat.  Grade: A

The next four outfits are repeats, and I'm putting them in the "They Were Ugly the First Time," Collection.  Grade: C-
Points for sass and for getting the skirt lengthened, but it's still not a fave.
I like this fabric.  For a pillow.  Not a dress.
But hi, koala bear!


Boooooooring.
Not even puppies will save you from these frayed hems and strange neck rosettes.
Will said she looked like a banana in this, but I didn't mind it.  It's trendy though.  She's gonna cringe when she looks at this picture in ten years.  And George's outfit is hideous.  Grade: B

I like eyelet fabric.  I like it on curtains.  I do not like it on this dress.  And it doesn't work with those sandals.   She's at a fair here, though, so I hope she at least got some funnel cake. Grade: D

She got some criticism for not wearing a more Spring-y ensemble to Easter, but I think she wanted to keep the focus on Jebus.  Good for her.  Grade: A-

This was my second favorite look of the tour.  It's age appropriate, and I love the poppy EXPLOSION!  Nicely done.  Grade: A


The next dress, as pointed out by one of my former Pottery Barn colleagues, looks too much like the Ikat pattern from 2007.  Again, good on a bedspread, bad on a dress.  Grade: D-

I don't even want to talk about the evening wear, but we have to.  This is where Kate usually rocks it.  Her first evening dress couldn't decide what length it wanted to be, and was a boring black.  The only thing that saves it is that it has a custom sparkly fern (one of Australia's symbols on it).  And again, Will, with the terrible coordination!  Get that navy suit off--geez!  Grade: D-


You know those plastic rings that come on sodas that you're supposed to cut up to save sea life?

Yeah, well she wore a dress made out of those.  Another blogger noted that this dress wore her, instead of the other way around.  I couldn't agree more.  Grade: GIANT F

This pink McQueen ensemble was popular on the interwebs, but it just isn't doing anything for me.  It looks disproportionate and I don't like the color.  At least it doesn't have frayed hems.  She looks tired and irritated here.  Grade: C

This was the better version of the Oscar Grouch coat, just with an ugly belt.  And Jesus, did Will pack more than 3 ties?  Grade: C-

Kate had worn Roksanda Ilincic before with much success:

But that wasn't the case here.  This looks like a mess of fabric held together with a rope.  Will, that outfit is hideous.  Grade: C-

She saved the best for last, though!  The coat looks amazing on her, the rosemary signifies remembrance in Australia, and the brooch was given to her by a soldier's wife.  Plus the hat is adorable.  Nicely done, Kate!  Grade: A+

And then they were off!  Kate looked gorgeous, George was adorable, Will's tie was still ugly.

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