Special to the Shame Squad: Grammy Dresses

The Grammys give us some of the year's best fashion disasters! And away we go!

Not sure if Cyndi Lauper thought she was going to the Grammys or a Halloween party.

Zendaya goes for the "80's shirt and polka dot shower curtain" look.

Katy Perry made her dress out of tulle and the sheet music to Blurred Lines. Just kidding--there's clearly no sheet music for Blurred Lines.

Jessica Miller shoes that if you like trends (military jackets, sequins, ostrich feathers), you should not wear them all at once. Also, shut up Lars Ulrich.

So many swans died to make Sara Bareilles' dress. Will no one think of the swans?!?!!?

Rita Ora stole a costume that one of the aliens wore during the filming of the original Star Trek series.

Natasha Bedingfield tries to make 'hazmat orange' sexy.

Pharrell is hiding Daft Punk under his hat.

Ariana Grande's dress is ugly. But more importantly, I think she's wearing the same Prada pumps that K-Middy has, so let's beat her up and steal them.

Stop it Kelly Osbourne. J-Law did the backwards necklace thing first and better.

Just wanted to say that Willie Nelson has better braids than I ever will.

Hi Kaya Jones. I see that your local bondage store had a clearance sale.

Hopefully you saved the receipt.

Termites chewed through the top of Colbie Caillat's dress.

I think Chrisette Michele's markers dried up before she was done coloring her outfit.

Kathy Griffin, you know this is hideous. You have so many gays around you! How did they let you out of the house in this?!

Janice and Billy Crystal look like my parents going out to lunch after church.

Fantasia forgot to take off the lanyard for her substitute teacher badge when she put this...lace...thing... on.

Faith Evans paid for someone to do that to her hair, ya'll.

Jessi Alexander made her suit from fabric in the discount bin...from 1972.

And the winner of the fashion disasters? Skylar Grey, whose dress was made of car leather interior in beige.

The Oscars, powered by onion dip

My hilarious friends Kelley and Christopher invited me over for the Oscars so that we could judge red carpet looks. Kelley is one of the few people in my life that makes me laugh without fail, and she blogs her adventures--and misadventures--over at The Lundscape . Kelley warned me prior to coming over that they were more "Shame" than "Squad," so that's how we ended up with three types of dip. This was fortuitous, though, because the dips sustained us through grueling hours of pausing and rewinding live coverage, swapping drink recipes we learned on vacation, and discussing what award shows would be like on Middle Earth. Let's dive right in, shall we? Kelley : Janelle Monae's dress was sponsored by the Audubon society. Christopher: This looks like "Sarah Burton for Alexander McQueen meets Marie Antoinette." (It is revealed that the designer is Elie Saab.) Alyssa: I'm pretty sure Elie Saab went on a coke bender. Kelley: ...

Freezer Meal #2 - Maple Pork Tenderloin with Apples

This is the second part of my foray in to freezer meals - the first part can be found here for Cheesy Shells and Italian Sausage. Today we're making a pork and apples recipe adapted from The Pampered Chef. I love this one--it's so easy to assemble in advance, most of the ingredients you likely already have, and it couldn't be easier to fix the day you want to eat it (dump stuff in pan, bake). So yummy. And pretty. Maple Pork Tenderloin with Apples For this you'll need the ingredients below. You probably have the oil, vinegar, garlic, brown sugar, mustard, and bags in your pantry! You can also easily divide this recipe if you usually only cook for 2-3 people at a time (that's what I do when I make it). 2 pork tenderloins , about 2 pounds total - they can be expensive, so pick these up on sale 3 apples - I prefer honeycrisp but use what you like, or take one of these suggestions 1 small red onion 1/4 cup canola oil 1 clove garlic , press...

Meghan Markle Tiara Predictions

First thing's first: will I be as, um, "devoted" to Meghan as Kate? Nope. That would be like having two favorite football teams--it's just crazy. But! That won't stop me from a little bit of fun speculation today. So, what tiara is Meghan likely to wear when she marries Harry? We have a few clues to help steer us in the right direction: First, in terms of tiaras, it is important to understand that royal houses "counts the centuries, not the carats" in terms of tiara importance. For comparison's sake: Kate's tiara dates from 1936 and was first worn by the Queen Mother--a relative commoner who became a Duchess who became a Queen Consort. Expertly chosen, as this is the same path Kate will take, if all goes to plan. Halo Scroll as worn by the Queen Mum, Princess Anne, and K-Middy. The Queen wore it too early on. Fun fact: we haven't seen her wear it again because it's currently traveling in a Cartier exhibit. Princ...

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