We began 2016 in style, on the Big Island of Hawaii. Since we've now been to all of the major islands,here's the high-level overview:
- Kauai - Lush, tropical paradise with an inexplicable amount of chickens.
- Oahu (Honolulu/Waikiki only) = Tysons Corner + Japan + A Circus + the suggestion of a beach.
- Oahu (everything else) - a nice and fabulous place to visit, with awesome hole-in-the-wall restaurants. Try the poke and the musubi. And the chicken katsu. And an acai bowl. Just eat everything.
- Maui - Crazy hot windward coast (Lahiana) OR freezing cold mountains (Haleakala) OR crazy windy death road (Hana). Also there's a Costco and good plate lunch place near the airport.
- Big Island - lots of rocks, probably similar to the surface of Mars? We should ask Matt Damon.
 |
| The hiking on Kauai was amazing. |
Then we did the Krispy Kreme Challenge in Raleigh (again). Chris did not manage to eat all the donuts (again) and I did not eat any donuts during the race (again). But thanks to the generosity of friends and family, we raised $500 for North Carolina Children's hospital. Thanks, framily!
 |
| I'd like to thank Starwood for building an Aloft hotel literally at the start of this year's race. |
Chris and a coworker, Carmela, had a conference in Austin in March, so Carmela's boyfriend Joe and I joined them at the end for a long weekend. Joe and I realized too late that we were flying out of Dulles on the same day ALLLLLLLLLL of the college students were leaving for spring break trips. You haven't truly lived until you've been surrounded by approximately 10,000 frat boys, sorority girls, and TSA agents at 6 a.m. Joe and I made a drinking game out of guessing which colleges everyone was from, asking them, and then taking a sip of our drink if we were wrong. Long story short, it was a slightly inebriated flight to Texas. We loved Austin (it is as weird as they say) and I still crave breakfast tacos.
 |
| Tito's vodka: it's what's for breakfast! |
 |
| One of the many murals around Austin. |
For my birthday in April, I did the traditional things that everyone does: run a 10k and go shopping at the Hershey outlet mall. I forgot my socks and headphones, my tracking app malfunctioned, it rained, and I overheated BUT I got a chocolate-shaped medal. What more could a girl want? Well, besides $400 worth of clothes for free at the Banana Republic Outlet. Thanks, credit card rewards and Banana coupons!
Also, I'm cautiously optimistic to see a new, female CEO (Michele Buck) at Hershey, and hope she will speed up their glacially slow eradication practices that indirectly support child labor. At any rate, whenever we visit, we make a donation to UNICEF. Just like how I eat at Chick-fil-a and then donate to PFLAG & The Trevor Project. It's like carbon offsets for your conscience.
We also ended up at Disneyworld twice, once expectedly in February and once unexpectedly in April. Such are the perks of one's corporate office being in Tampa. For all of you going to Orlando this year, my tip is: stay at the WDW Swan. It's half the price or less of the Boardwalk resorts and it has the same benefits as the Disney resorts except for package delivery and Magical express. PLUS! You earn Starwood points AND get a free cocktail at check-in, as well as some serious spa discounts. All you have to do is be a member of the Starwood Preferred Guest program (sign up for free before you go), plus you can stumble/roll/crawl back from Epcot and Hollywood Studios, which are both in walking distance. Don't forget to visit the tiny tequila bar in Epcot's Mexico pyramid, or the spa in the adjacent Dolphin resort. Just rinse off the massage oil before you go, or you'll crisp up like a french fry. You're Welcome.
 |
This is not the Swan, it's the Beach Club.
Chris' face reflects the fact that this was a last minute trip, with last minute prices. |
 |
| Cheers! |
Then I went to a work conference in Denver in July, and Chris joined me at the end. We stayed at The Curtis, a funky Hilton that has a theme for every floor, including Video Games, Star Trek, Horror (the 13th floor), Big Hair, etc. We stayed on the Need for Speed floor, but sadly, not in the Taladega Nights room. We're hoping to rectify that when we return to Denver in 2017 for Chris' work. At any rate, we still had fun at the Denver zoo, eating cupcakes out of a van called The Church of Cupcakes, and visiting Boulder.
 |
| The video game floor! |
In August, we went to Rehoboth at the generous invitation of Friends with a Beach House. (This is not to be confused with our summer trip to Lake Anna, at the similarly generous invitation of Friends with a Lake House.) Besides hanging out with a few thousand of our closest friends on the Bay Bridge, highlights were: finding Jesus (he was $18 at a LGBT-friendly thrift shop), also finding sparkly gay mermen Christmas ornaments at the book store (as you do), sitting on the beach, buying tax-free alcohol at the liquor outlet (Delaware, I love you for being the home to Joe Biden AND your lovely tax laws) and eating fish and chips. This was good preparation for....
Going to England in Scotland in October! We went to the UK right after Brexit, which was awesome because everything was basically free, given our strong American dollars. Mwah ha ha! We started in London, took the train to Edinburgh, and then went allllllll around the Highlands, including the Isle of Skye. No, I did not see Kate Middleton, but I did visit her house. And maybe stalked the back entrance of Kensington Palace to see if her Range Rover would make an appearance at the gate.
Also--and here's my big confession--I HATED London. It's basically a larger, cleaner, nicer New York City. No thanks. (If you love London and are upset about this, just think: now there's one less person in front of you in the queue.) It might also have something to do with Roz, British Airways' Meanest Employee Ever, as well as our first hotel being robbed as we checked in. And promptly checked out. We were once again saved by a Starwood property, this time the Doubletree Westminster. It had lots of cookies and zero robberies.
But! I loved, loved, loved Scotland and want to move to Edinburgh RIGHT NOW. Everything is tartan! Whisky abounds! Haggis is actually tasty! I'm pretty sure there's a law requiring there to be a loch, mountain, and castle every 20k or so!
 |
| Here we are inside a castle, with a loch and a mountain behind us. |
When we weren't traveling, we were working. (Sometimes we were doing both.) Work accomplishments include:
- Being in simultaneous possession of the signature stamps for the CFO and President and issuing lots of inappropriate letters.
- Having direct reports that are Greek, Lithuanian, and Bulgarian. I call them "The Department of Eastern Europe." Let me tell you, they get things done. The Lithuanian literally runs around the office. I enjoy explaining American culture and customs to them, most of which they think str crazy. Which, really, after you've explained the plot of The Brady Bunch, can you really say that they're wrong?
- Not losing my mind after reading over 1,000 resumes. If I read that anyone is a "quick lerner" ever again, I will scream.
Chris took a new position internally, which from what I can tell, involves stuff with drones. Okay, really, he's in charge of the growth plan for an Aeronautics Association (which again: drones). Because he works with engineers, he has to explain things like "no, you can't bring a full sized airplane in to the exhibit hall at the Marriott." I suppose the engineers are not "quick lerners" either.
It was a bittersweet year with the cats. After 14 years, we said goodbye to Fitch, our sweet orange guy, due to pancreatic kitty cancer. It was extra difficult because he was given to me by my now deceased grandparents, after he was born on their farm. As my girl Queen Elizabeth says "Grief is the price we pay for love." Indeed.
 |
| Dearly departed Fitch. Awww. |
Our 12 year old calico, Roxy, would not stop meowing and looking for him, so we decided to get her a friend. That ushered in the arrival of Beast, a formerly feral ten month old gray tabby, and OMG I forgot what it's like to have a kitten. We've been working on not clawing e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g. Good thing he's cute. I think Roxy regrets her decision to be sad.
 |
| Roxy and Beast. |
In Johnny Weir news, he helped host both the Olympics AND the Kentucky Derby. The latter involved him wearing a light-up pony brooch named Lawrence, which galloped whenever one tweeted using the hash tag #watchmeneighneigh. Man, what a time to be alive. The Olympics, even the Ryan Lochte nonsense, were a welcome break from political coverage. (Seriously, Ryan Lochte is dumber than a box of hair.) All of this was forgivable since I got to see Michael Phelps in a bathing suit.
Speaking of Michael Phelps, I continued to work out with a trainer during my lunch break, and she made an Olympic Workout where the exercises spelled out M-I-C-H-A-E-L P-H-E-L-P-S. Everything was fine except the Elephant planks, so he's now known as Michal Phlps. Vowels are overrated.
Chris exercised by running. 900 miles, to be exact. He was hoping to run a thousand miles this year, but a foot injury sidelined him. I'd like to point out that he ran approximately 875 miles more than I did.
 |
| Chris in his natural habitat. |
Have we covered all the topics now? Trips? Check. Cats? Check. Work? Check. Kate, Johnny, Michael? (I mean, Michal?) Check. Well, that's it then, that's everything, everybody. 2016 was interesting, and 2017 should be more so.
Going back to Queen Elizabeth, here's what she said in her Christmas address this year:
When people face a challenge they sometimes talk about taking a deep breath to find courage or strength. In fact, the word ‘inspire’ literally means ‘to breathe in’. But even with the inspiration of others, it’s understandable that we sometimes think the world’s problems are so big that we can do little to help. On our own, we cannot end wars or wipe out injustice, but the cumulative impact of thousands of small acts of goodness can be bigger than we imagine.
 |
| Here she is at her Scottish palace. I've literally been in this room! |
I hope 2017 brings you lots of great things, and that you do many small acts of goodness with great love. Merry (belated) Christmas and Happy New Year from The Browns!
