My girl Kate came to NYC, and I would be lying if I didn't briefly consider buying tickets to the Nets game or the St. Andrews benefit gala (which turned out to be $10,000 for the cheap seats so HA HA HA). Alas, I decided to admire from afar on the internet.
And I was overwhelmingly...underwhelmed. Before we get to the commentary and analysis, let me say this:
And I was overwhelmingly...underwhelmed. Before we get to the commentary and analysis, let me say this:
- Yes, it's totally judgypants of me to commentate on the woman's outfits because she's pregnant and she's running around in the cold, wind, and rain trying to look perfect when she is totally entitled to yoga pants and a stained t-shirt.
- No one analyzes or cares about what William wears, and it's a complete double standard, kind of like when the male anchor of Australia's Today Show wore the same suit for a YEAR on air and received zero commentary, while his female counterpart got lots of unsolicited advice.
- If anyone followed ME around and analyzed my hair, jewelry, and clothing, the commentary would include such observations as: "seriously, when is she going to dye her gray hair?" and "is she wearing those 3 year old black high heels AGAIN?!" and "those $1 gloves from Target don't go with that coat." (For the record, I think I'd do okay in the jewelry department.)
- The focus should really be on the charities she supports, and she is apparently very involved behind the scenes. She is diligently working towards efforts that support children and mental health, which is commendable.
That being said, it's all in good fun. Let's get started!
And they're here! They usually come in on a regular commercial flight (and buy out first class) so I wonder if her hair stylist is doing her hair on the plane or what. ANYWAY, this $500 Seraphine coat dress looks like it's from Dress Barn or the women's section of Macy's. And I'm against boot/shoes any day of the week. I believe they are called "shooties." I would like to shootie whoever came up with them. Grade: C
Then it was off to a late dinner benefiting The Royal Foundation of the Duke & Duchess of Cambridge and Prince Harry. LOVE the earrings. This dress does nothing for me though--pretty sure I had a similar dress in green from Upton's that I wore to the 9th grade dance. And the sleeves look like spider webs. Grade: C
The next morning, Kate visited the Harlem Child Development Center, wearing this...blobby...thing... from GOAT Fashion. She's worn GOAT before, and it's just not a good brand. Blah. Grade: D-
That evening, it was off to a reception benefiting the Tusk Trust and United for Wildlife, then the second half of an NBA game. William looks appropriate here. Kate is wearing another too-old-for-her metallic Macy's/Dress Barn-esque coat (actually by Tory Burch), with J Crew jeans, heels, and an evening clutch. Huh? TAKE OFF THE DAMN COAT, KATE.
She also wore these crocodile earrings, which are as affordable as they are ugly! They're by Patrick Mavros, a Zimbabwe-based jeweler focused on conservation, so they're appropriate. And did I mention ugly? Grade: F
I'm conflicted over this Mulberry outfit. I love it, and it's gorgeous. There's a large debate among Kate followers as to whether or not this is appropriate, because the only bright outfit she wore was this, and she wore it to the September 11th Memorial.
On one hand, pink is often associated with hope, which could make this appropriate. Additionally, the Queen Mum (back when she was The Queen) often wore bright colors out and about in war-torn England, and she initially received criticism for dressing cheerily when visiting neighborhoods that had been bombed. She famously replied that should her subjects come to visit her, they would wear their nicest clothes, so it was only appropriate for her to do the same. (In fact, Hitler called her the "most dangerous woman in Europe" for her efforts.) So there's some historical context.
And finally, 67 British citizens perished on September 11th, so the color choice is not a blunder based on lack of cultural understanding.
On the other hand, people were murdered here. A friend whose brother died in the North Tower explained the Memorial to me like this: "imagine if someone made a museum about the worst day of your life. And then they put a gift shop in it." And so, I feel as though I'm neither qualified nor entitled to offer any further commentary here.
We'll move on to a non-controversial outfit for a non-controversial outing.
This is another Seraphine Maternity piece, a $99 black dress (that's now on a six week backorder online). Love. This. Whole. Thing. The ponytail is super cute, the dress is age-appropriate and juuuust form-fitting enough, and it really works with her Cartier necklace, which I'm willing to bet is NOT $99. Also: she met Captain Picard. It was a reception to honor British creativity, after all. Grade: B
And finally, the event we'd all been waiting for: the gala at the Met.
Aaaaand we got...the inky blue Jenny Packham gown. AGAIN. FOR THE THIRD TIME. Which made royal watchers sad, because K-Middy does evening wear so well. But the consensus is that this non-maternity dress works as maternity wear, that it isn't practical to buy an evening gown to accommodate a growing bump, and that the major bling and updo made up for the repeat. Grade: B
Seriously, props to her hair stylist. Also, the jewels are a "private gift," which is sartorial code for "insanely expensive wedding present from Saudi royals."
Finally, the Cambridges headed off to JFK to catch their return flight. I love how they do things in unison. It appears that they are good friends and genuinely like each other. Imagine that.
In conclusion, thanks for visiting, Kate! Please come back, maybe in summer, when you can leave the metallic coats at home.