The Today Show recently asked Johnny Weir and Tara Lipinski questions to recap 2014. They are hilarious, so you should totally check out what they said. Since Amy and I are also hilarious, we decided to answer as well.
Royal baby No. 2: Boy or girl?
Alyssa: Guuuuuuurl...I hope it's a girl. As I've said before, I hope they name her Diana or Beyonce. Diana Beyonce Cambridge. Wait, don't you get, like, four names when you're a royal? Diana Beyonce Alyssa Johnny Weir Cambridge. Love it.
Amy: I also hope it's a girl, so I can see what a crazy toddler-size British fascinator looks like.
What do you think of Prince George?
Alyssa: I think that Baby King will one day rule us all. Johnny Weir is right, he does steal. He also throws things. He threw a toy Bilby in Australia. But to be fair to Baby King, I think he was doing that in protest of Kate wearing a dress recycled from a previous tour.
Amy: I love his short pants and his chubby cheeks. It makes me want to get some short pants and chubby cheeks for myself.
Sochi Olympics: What is your favorite memory?
Alyssa: I, too, feel like Johnny Weir and Tara Lipinski were the breakout stars of the Sochi Olympics. I also liked that the contingent from Bermuda wore shorts and flip flops. Oh, and when that 5th Olympic ring didn't light up at the Opening Ceremonies, that was fun too. Putin probably killed someone over that.
Amy: Wait, there were Olympics this year?
George Clooney got hitched this year. Thoughts?
Alyssa: Eh, whatever. He's not my type. (See previous answer regarding "beautiful mythical blonde men" category.)
Amy: The whole thing looked pretty classy. Though, he didn't have an ice cream truck at his wedding like *I* did.
Any other thoughts on 2014?
Alyssa: Well, Amy got married, so that was good. And she and I had wine and ice cream for dinner one night. That was nice. So I'd say 2014 was a pretty great year, even though Amy STILL didn't pass the 4th grade again.
Amy: It's that blasted Long Division. Gets me every time!
Royal baby No. 2: Boy or girl?
Alyssa: Guuuuuuurl...I hope it's a girl. As I've said before, I hope they name her Diana or Beyonce. Diana Beyonce Cambridge. Wait, don't you get, like, four names when you're a royal? Diana Beyonce Alyssa Johnny Weir Cambridge. Love it.
Amy: I also hope it's a girl, so I can see what a crazy toddler-size British fascinator looks like.
What do you think of Prince George?
Alyssa: I think that Baby King will one day rule us all. Johnny Weir is right, he does steal. He also throws things. He threw a toy Bilby in Australia. But to be fair to Baby King, I think he was doing that in protest of Kate wearing a dress recycled from a previous tour.
Amy: I love his short pants and his chubby cheeks. It makes me want to get some short pants and chubby cheeks for myself.
Sochi Olympics: What is your favorite memory?
Alyssa: I, too, feel like Johnny Weir and Tara Lipinski were the breakout stars of the Sochi Olympics. I also liked that the contingent from Bermuda wore shorts and flip flops. Oh, and when that 5th Olympic ring didn't light up at the Opening Ceremonies, that was fun too. Putin probably killed someone over that.
Amy: Wait, there were Olympics this year?
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| "Amy, don't even front. You reviewed our outfits." |
Ellen’s Oscar selfie was a huge deal. Who would be in your perfect selfie?
Alyssa: Gosh, this one is hard. You would expect me to say Beyonce and Kate Middleton, right? But I'm afraid they'd just make me look fat. Hmmm, how about Thor? And Legolas. They can represent the "beautiful mythical blonde men" category. Also, Pope Francis. He keeps it real. And Xanax. Can't forget the Xanax.
Amy: How do you put Xanax in a selfie? Pills in your hand or just the bottle?
Alyssa: Gosh, this one is hard. You would expect me to say Beyonce and Kate Middleton, right? But I'm afraid they'd just make me look fat. Hmmm, how about Thor? And Legolas. They can represent the "beautiful mythical blonde men" category. Also, Pope Francis. He keeps it real. And Xanax. Can't forget the Xanax.
Amy: How do you put Xanax in a selfie? Pills in your hand or just the bottle?
Alyssa: Either. I'm not gonna tell anyone how to take their Xanax selfie. It's a personal decision. But I'd go with hands.
George Clooney got hitched this year. Thoughts?
Alyssa: Eh, whatever. He's not my type. (See previous answer regarding "beautiful mythical blonde men" category.)
Amy: The whole thing looked pretty classy. Though, he didn't have an ice cream truck at his wedding like *I* did.
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| "Wait, I could have had an ICE CREAM TRUCK!?!" |
“Fancy,” “All About that Bass” or “Shake it Off”: What’s your vote for song the year?
Alyssa: Is stabbing your eardrums with an ice pick an option? My favorite song was "I'm Not the Only One" by Sam Smith. Honestly, he could sing anything and it would sound good. "Same Smith Sings Public Domain Songs" would be such a great album. I'd totally put "Camptown Races" on repeat.
Amy: I actually like "Shake if Off." I think this means that I'm secretly a teenage girl.
How was doing the Ice Bucket Challenge?
Alyssa: It wasn't bad. I did it for work, and it was a warm day. Everyone was worried about me doing the challenge in a dress and heels. Whatever, if you can't do something in a dress and heels, it's probably not worth doing.
Amy: I didn't do the Ice Bucket Challenge. I enjoyed watching everyone else doing the Ice Bucket Challenge on Facebook.
What really happened between Jay Z and Solange in the elevator?
Alyssa: She forgot her Xanax.
Amy: I think they were arguing about whether “Fancy,” “All About that Bass” or “Shake it Off” was the best song of the year.
Alyssa: Is stabbing your eardrums with an ice pick an option? My favorite song was "I'm Not the Only One" by Sam Smith. Honestly, he could sing anything and it would sound good. "Same Smith Sings Public Domain Songs" would be such a great album. I'd totally put "Camptown Races" on repeat.
Amy: I actually like "Shake if Off." I think this means that I'm secretly a teenage girl.
How was doing the Ice Bucket Challenge?
Alyssa: It wasn't bad. I did it for work, and it was a warm day. Everyone was worried about me doing the challenge in a dress and heels. Whatever, if you can't do something in a dress and heels, it's probably not worth doing.
Amy: I didn't do the Ice Bucket Challenge. I enjoyed watching everyone else doing the Ice Bucket Challenge on Facebook.
What really happened between Jay Z and Solange in the elevator?
Alyssa: She forgot her Xanax.
Amy: I think they were arguing about whether “Fancy,” “All About that Bass” or “Shake it Off” was the best song of the year.
Any other thoughts on 2014?
Alyssa: Well, Amy got married, so that was good. And she and I had wine and ice cream for dinner one night. That was nice. So I'd say 2014 was a pretty great year, even though Amy STILL didn't pass the 4th grade again.
Amy: It's that blasted Long Division. Gets me every time!
Alyssa: Maybe if you weren't so busy trying to get short pants and chubby cheeks, you could focus on your homework. Better luck in 2015!
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| "That would please Baby King greatly." |