Things People Bought at Harris Teeter...

It's always a little dangerous when major companies use social media, and ask for input like this.

Why? Well, you might want to ask Mountain Dew. They had a contest to 'Dub the Dew' (i.e. name the newest flavor of Mountain Dew), and in the end, the top ten results were all, um, not a good name for a soda. In fact, the most 'appropriate' of all the suggestions was Diabeetus.

Rapper Pitbull could also explain it to you, when as part of a promotion, he said he'd go to whatever Wal-Mart store had the most likes on Facebook. Aaaaaaaaaaand, he ended up being sent to the Wal-Mart in Kodiak, Alaska.

Pitbull might want to give some advice to Justin Bieber, who asked "fans" where he should go on his International Tour. The winner? North Korea.

And my personal favorite is when the city of Austin, Texas, asked for suggestions to rename the Solid Waste Services Department. Although they didn't use it, the top vote earner was The Fred Durst Society of the Humanities and Arts.

I wonder what his concentration was within his major.

Okay, so back to Harris Teeter. I decided to see what the last items Harris Teeter shoppers purchased were. And I decided to assign them all back stories.

Cindy M. enthusiastically answered with "Friskies!"

Possible image of Cindy M.

Kelle L. seems to have misunderstood the question, answering with "Friday." Or perhaps she picked up a copy of the 1995 movie Friday, featuring Ice Cube and Chris Tucker.

Caren J. picked up "a stainless steel spoon for blue veined cheese." This leads me to believe that Mrs. Howell escaped from Gilligan's island, and is now shopping at Harris Teeter. We're not fooled by your fake name, Mrs. Howell.

"Call me Caren."

Betsy C. responded with simply "help."

Don't worry, Betsy! I'm assuming you're in Hawaii, and I'm comin' to help you!

But by far, the best response was from Keith C., who responded with Polonium-210. Which is a radioactive isotope. I'm gonna guess that's in the baking aisle.

Radioactivity! It's what's for dinner!

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The Shame Squad

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