Chris: Does the crawl really just begin with the word "War!" Alyssa: Yes, it's like a third grader wrote it. Alternately, it looks like a tweet written by our current president. "Count Dooku has bugged my phone! Evil is everywhere!" In a stunning move, this opening crawl is terrible. And we begin, as we always do, in space, with a giant battle in over Coruscant. Alyssa: Are Anakin and Obi-Wan are wearing gold burger king head sets? Chris: They have to take drive-thru orders. Alyssa: On what Star Wars planet are there Burger Kings? Chris: Multiple. Don't you think there are franchises in space? But they're probably called something else. Alyssa: Bantha King? Chris: Bantha King. "Would you like blue milk with that?" Obi-Wan and Anakin are doing a terrible job fending off some vulture droids. One of them almost gets R2D2, but IT Helpdesk Obi-Wan saves the day by telling R2 the vulnerable spot on the vulture droid...
Sarcastic adventures abound.