Special to the Shame Squad: The SAG Awards

Meryl Streep goes for "Sexy Librarian" with the glasses and shoes, and "Chico's Model" for the dress.

Amy Adams, honey, they forgot to finish your gown.

Luciana Damon gets points for making her dress out of a tablecloth from my mom's dining room, but loses points for forgetting to iron it.

Emma Thompson lost a bet and had to wear this. "No really, I love jeweled parrots on my dresses!"

Remember these rattan chairs from the 80's?

Natalie Dormer painted them black and upcycled them in to sleeves.

Rita Moreno is All Harley on the top, All Chinese Restaurant Curtains on the bottom.

Kerry Washington couldn't decide which 80's Mother-of-the-Bride Dress she liked better, so she wore one half of each!

Ariel Winter's dress is fine, but apparently she thought she might get hungry during the awards and made her own snack tray. I kind of feel like there's a plastic baggie of Cheerios hiding in her cleavage.

We GET IT, Mayim Bialik, you're weird. But you'll never be as weird as Helena Bonham Carter, so just take off this lace and satin disaster right now.

Is Alfre Woodard dating Alfred Angelo? She looks gorgeous...for a mid-90's prom model.

Cat Blanchett just came from a very fancy lobster dinner.

I need some Advil just to look at Malin Akerman.

Lena Heady goes for that "Prison Chic" look.

I bet Zoe Kazan thought, "you know what would make this aqua and black disaster better? A bow."

Jane Krakowski has decided to cover one shoulder and one eye.

Patricia Arquette recycles her old dress from her high school madrigal singing days.

Julie Bowen is ready for Halloween! A weird, very geometric Halloween.

Q: What's Sarah Paulson hiding under her skirt?

A: All of her Botox needles.

Is Mindy Kaling wearing a rope around her waist? She's pretty much phoning this one in.

Amanda Peet, it's like you're trying to end up on this blog.

Why minimize your waist and hide your cankles when you can do the exact opposite, Edie Falco?

And finally, they both look lovely, but are Sibel Kekilli and John Bradley an item?!

If so, good for you, John Bradley.

Freezer Meal #2 - Maple Pork Tenderloin with Apples

This is the second part of my foray in to freezer meals - the first part can be found here for Cheesy Shells and Italian Sausage. Today we're making a pork and apples recipe adapted from The Pampered Chef. I love this one--it's so easy to assemble in advance, most of the ingredients you likely already have, and it couldn't be easier to fix the day you want to eat it (dump stuff in pan, bake). So yummy. And pretty. Maple Pork Tenderloin with Apples For this you'll need the ingredients below. You probably have the oil, vinegar, garlic, brown sugar, mustard, and bags in your pantry! You can also easily divide this recipe if you usually only cook for 2-3 people at a time (that's what I do when I make it). 2 pork tenderloins , about 2 pounds total - they can be expensive, so pick these up on sale 3 apples - I prefer honeycrisp but use what you like, or take one of these suggestions 1 small red onion 1/4 cup canola oil 1 clove garlic , press...

The Oscars, powered by onion dip

My hilarious friends Kelley and Christopher invited me over for the Oscars so that we could judge red carpet looks. Kelley is one of the few people in my life that makes me laugh without fail, and she blogs her adventures--and misadventures--over at The Lundscape . Kelley warned me prior to coming over that they were more "Shame" than "Squad," so that's how we ended up with three types of dip. This was fortuitous, though, because the dips sustained us through grueling hours of pausing and rewinding live coverage, swapping drink recipes we learned on vacation, and discussing what award shows would be like on Middle Earth. Let's dive right in, shall we? Kelley : Janelle Monae's dress was sponsored by the Audubon society. Christopher: This looks like "Sarah Burton for Alexander McQueen meets Marie Antoinette." (It is revealed that the designer is Elie Saab.) Alyssa: I'm pretty sure Elie Saab went on a coke bender. Kelley: ...

Freezer Meal #1 - Cheesy Shells and Italian Sausage

A month ago, a coworker invited me to a Pampered Chef Freezer Meal party. I will admit that I went in to it with a little bit of an attitude: " I'm going to have to buy all their seasonings and the meals will be full of processed goo and not taste great ." Four hours of fun, three glasses of wine, $170 for groceries and seasonings, and 14 meals later, I was happily proved (mostly) wrong. Here's how my thinking changed: 1) I'm going to have to buy all of their seasonings - well, yes. This is a service they're offering after all, and I felt like the $70 was more than worth the ideas and ingredients I got, plus not having to do the dishes and getting a free dinner was a bonus! I discovered a few ingredients I would have normally given the "side eye" to, like cherry balsamic vinegar, which costs the same at the grocery store as it does from The Pampered Chef. 2) The meals will be processed - I was expecting lots of Cream-of-Something-Soup r...

The Shame Squad

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