The thoughts of Johnny Weir

Johnny says: "I performed to Born This Way by Lady Gaga. I did full sparkle crotch because, you know, that's where babies come from, and my baby would be sparkly."

Johnny also says: "Just because its sparkly doesn't mean I'm going to love it."

Conclusion: Johnny's baby would be Edward Cullen, because he's sparkly. But Johnny may not love him. That's okay, because Twilight was really terrible.

Johnny says: "I love her usage of proper headbanding."

Conclusion: I didn't think there was such a thing as improper headbanding, but apparently there is. See below.

(You shouldn't even be surprised that Camilla and an Olsen twin are headband disasters.)

Johnny says: "One hundred points for use of headband on our next team."

Conclusion: I'm going to assume our next team is Princess Diana and Natalie Portman. In that case, agreed.

Johnny says: "I say we make the nickname "team cheekbones" for them."

Conclusion: I think the team in question must consist of Tom Hiddleston and Benedict Cumberbatch. I wonder if they would beat the Princess Diana/Natalie Portman headband team.

Johnny says: "I, like many fashionistas, will overpack so I have options everyday. I came with about 10 pairs of shoes, four fur coats, 10 blazers--I have a lot of stuff here. I have four giant suitcases that are the size of the Ford Focuses. I overpack. I'm not an economical packer and no one has every accused me of being that. My advice for when you're going on a trip is to overpack."

Conclusion: Can't agree, Johnny. NEVER check a bag. Here's what I think your suitcase looks like:

Johnny says: "Wait! Don't get salt water on my mink."

Johnny also says: "Shiny things attract fish so I should be shiny. I'll wear jewelry. Jewels--I feel like this little piece--pretty fancy. I think that'll do for fishing. That'll be attractive to a fish."

Conclusion: Um, well, I guess you have to admire him for going outside of his comfort zone (even though we can't admire him for wearing fur). That's nice that he wore a special brooch for the fish.

There are no words.

Johnny says: "Leopard: Fierce, clever, shows its true spots. Also, I live in New Jersey, and if you don't feature leopard print here, you might as well live in the city."

Conclusion: Considering I did a Google image search for "leopard" and "New Jersey" and got the picture below, I think he's right.

And finally...

Johnny says: "For every 1 person bullying me, it is one less bully harassing another individual and for that reason I am strong enough to bear it."

Conclusion: Dammit, Johnny Weir. Is it dusty in here?

Did you enjoy the fabulous wisdom of Johnny Weir? Then I hope you'll consider a donation to my March of Dimes walk to save all the sparkly babies!

Freezer Meal #2 - Maple Pork Tenderloin with Apples

This is the second part of my foray in to freezer meals - the first part can be found here for Cheesy Shells and Italian Sausage. Today we're making a pork and apples recipe adapted from The Pampered Chef. I love this one--it's so easy to assemble in advance, most of the ingredients you likely already have, and it couldn't be easier to fix the day you want to eat it (dump stuff in pan, bake). So yummy. And pretty. Maple Pork Tenderloin with Apples For this you'll need the ingredients below. You probably have the oil, vinegar, garlic, brown sugar, mustard, and bags in your pantry! You can also easily divide this recipe if you usually only cook for 2-3 people at a time (that's what I do when I make it). 2 pork tenderloins , about 2 pounds total - they can be expensive, so pick these up on sale 3 apples - I prefer honeycrisp but use what you like, or take one of these suggestions 1 small red onion 1/4 cup canola oil 1 clove garlic , press...

Freezer Meal #1 - Cheesy Shells and Italian Sausage

A month ago, a coworker invited me to a Pampered Chef Freezer Meal party. I will admit that I went in to it with a little bit of an attitude: " I'm going to have to buy all their seasonings and the meals will be full of processed goo and not taste great ." Four hours of fun, three glasses of wine, $170 for groceries and seasonings, and 14 meals later, I was happily proved (mostly) wrong. Here's how my thinking changed: 1) I'm going to have to buy all of their seasonings - well, yes. This is a service they're offering after all, and I felt like the $70 was more than worth the ideas and ingredients I got, plus not having to do the dishes and getting a free dinner was a bonus! I discovered a few ingredients I would have normally given the "side eye" to, like cherry balsamic vinegar, which costs the same at the grocery store as it does from The Pampered Chef. 2) The meals will be processed - I was expecting lots of Cream-of-Something-Soup r...

Write a Resume that Lands You Interviews

I've shared this advice over the years, most recently when a number of friends & colleagues found themselves hunting for jobs. Both then and now, I've had people reach out to me to say "oh my gosh, this really works!" or "I applied to a TON of jobs, didn't get any call backs, but then got an offer within WEEKS of putting this advice into practice." So look, I'm not some sort of job application sorcerer, and I'm not saying that the current job market doesn't have challenges because it does. I'm just a lady who used to be a recruiter that noticed which applications made it to the interviewed short list and which ones didn't. If you've read my advice before, I've updated it with advice for covering a Covid furlough/layoff, how to use ChatGPT to write resumes and cover letters, and why Indeed Easy Apply is hurting your chances. And yes, this does take some initial time investment up front, as well as customizing resumes and ...

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