Skip to main content

Is this real life?

This post is part of my annual Will Blog for Charity series.  If you enjoy reading, I hope you'll make a $5 or $10 donation (or more!) to the charity walk I'm doing for the March of Dimes.
**************

Someone (British betting house Ladbrokes) had a corgi race called The Barkingham Palace Gold Cup to predict Will & Kate's baby's name.  I am Very Upset I did not think of this first.  This is real life: you can watch it on Youtube.

 The winners were Alexandra for a girl and Spencer for a boy.  I feel like the Girl Corgi has a shot, but the Boy Corgi is clearly incorrect. 
Better luck next year, Albert.
Let's talk for a moment about how I really, really, really want Baby Cambridge to be born on my birthday.  Speaking of which, I've been perfecting the comments on my Amazon birthday wishlist, to include my admiration for DMX, the embarrassing admission about the state of my gym bag, and a thinly-veiled attempt to turn myself in to Kate Middleton.  You seriously shouldn't buy me any of this, because I'm all Independent Woman and whatnot, and I would not want to disappoint Beyonce.
I want this mug.  It should be standard issue for anyone in HR.
So back to Kate Middleton.  Actual royalty-related sentences uttered to a vendor at work today:
Vendor: Well, we would prefer to do it a different (totally ridiculous) way.
Me: Well, I would prefer to be the Duchess of Cambridge.
Vendor: (silence)
Me: When should we meet for tea?  How about 11?
Vendor: We'll go ahead and do it per your original specifications.

 This is real life. 

 Don't get me started on the time that a different vendor took forever to get the WebEx to start, and I made them discuss which Cullen is the BEST Cullen from the Twilight series.  (Answer: Carlisle Cullen.)  I think it was because they were headquartered somewhere near Forks, Washington.  At any rate, they tried to say that Edward was the BEST Cullen, and they were accused of phoning it in.  Because they were.
Seriously, you should never do business with me.  I will torture you.
Speaking of sparkly vampires, let's talk about Johnny Weir.  He is selling some of his clothes to benefit his local fire department!  You can check them all out here.  Again: this is real life.

I like fire departments.  I like Johnny Weir.  I like clothes.  So really, what exactly should I buy?  More importantly, is it a tax write off?  Because I feel like I NEED an $1,100 Sunburst costume, even if it does have loose threads on the left sleeve.

And finally, props to Margie for sharing this link, which rates US Presidents in terms of hotness.  For example:

15. Harry S. Truman - Here is a man whose appearance would be radically improved with the simple addition of a neck tattoo.
27. Millard Fillmore - Does anyone else think it’s suspicious that Millard Fillmore and Alec Baldwin have never been seen in the same room together?

33. Martin Van Buren
—Wake up, President Van Buren! It’s time to pose for your portrait!
—Huh? What? OK, go ahead–I’m ready.
—Do you want me to give you a minute to, uh, comb your sideburns?
—No.

Seriously, you owe it to yourself to read the whole article.

I hope you had a good day today, beloved readers.  And I hope you were entertained by Kate Middleton, Johnny Weir, and our collective Commanders in Chief.  Don't forget to donate to my March of Dimes page--I'm 25% of the way there.  And if you donate, there's MORE than a 25% percent chance that I'll say something hilarious and awesome about you on The Shame Squad.

Unless you have sideburns like Martin Van Buren.  Then you're on your own.

This is, indeed, real life.

Popular posts from this blog

Freezer Meal #2 - Maple Pork Tenderloin with Apples

This is the second part of my foray in to freezer meals - the first part can be found here  for Cheesy Shells and Italian Sausage. Today we're making a pork and apples recipe adapted from The Pampered Chef.  I love this one--it's so easy to assemble in advance, most of the ingredients you likely already have, and it couldn't be easier to fix the day you want to eat it (dump stuff in pan, bake). So yummy.  And pretty. Maple Pork Tenderloin with Apples For this you'll need the ingredients below.  You probably have the oil, vinegar, garlic, brown sugar, mustard, and bags in your pantry!  You can also easily divide this recipe if you usually only cook for 2-3 people at a time (that's what I do when I make it). 2 pork tenderloins , about 2 pounds total - they can be expensive, so pick these up on sale 3 apples - I prefer honeycrisp but use what you like, or take one of these suggestions 1 small red onion 1/4 cup canola oil 1 clove garlic , press...
Read more

Freezer Meal #1 - Cheesy Shells and Italian Sausage

A month ago, a coworker invited me to a Pampered Chef Freezer Meal party.  I will admit that I went in to it with a little bit of an attitude: " I'm going to have to buy all their seasonings and the meals will be full of processed goo and not taste great ."   Four hours of fun, three glasses of wine, $170 for groceries and seasonings, and 14 meals later, I was happily proved (mostly) wrong.  Here's how my thinking changed: 1) I'm going to have to buy all of their seasonings - well, yes.  This is a service they're offering after all, and I felt like the $70 was more than worth the ideas and ingredients I got, plus not having to do the dishes and getting a free dinner was a bonus!  I discovered a few ingredients I would have normally given the "side eye" to, like cherry balsamic vinegar, which costs the same at the grocery store as it does from The Pampered Chef. 2) The meals will be processed - I was expecting lots of Cream-of-Something-Soup r...
Read more

Write a Resume that Lands You Interviews

I've shared this advice over the years, most recently when a number of friends & colleagues found themselves hunting for jobs. Both then and now, I've had people reach out to me to say "oh my gosh, this really works!" or "I applied to a TON of jobs, didn't get any call backs, but then got an offer within WEEKS of putting this advice into practice." So look, I'm not some sort of job application sorcerer, and I'm not saying that the current job market doesn't have challenges because it does. I'm just a lady who used to be a recruiter that noticed which applications made it to the interviewed short list and which ones didn't. If you've read my advice before, I've updated it with advice for covering a Covid furlough/layoff, how to use ChatGPT to write resumes and cover letters, and why Indeed Easy Apply is hurting your chances. And yes, this does take some initial time investment up front, as well as customizing resumes and ...
Read more